Not today you’re not!

A number of years ago, I used to be a member of a ski team. At one particular event, I was in the starting house; my shins on the baton, my poles placed into these really deep holes other skiers had used. I remember thinking, “this isn’t a good idea,” but as the Starter had started the count down, I put it out of my mind, (which turned out to be an unfortunate thing to do). Pushing hard out of the Start House nosing down a very, very, steep ramp, my left pole got stuck in the deep hole. I yanked it out with such force that it knocked into my left ski and released my ski binding and my ski plopped off my boot. As it turned out, I really, really needed that left ski to set my edge for the sharp right turn that was right in front of me, and without it, I went straight into the orange safety netting! DQ’d before the first gate! Nothing was hurt,,,,, except for my pride. On the positive side, I did learn what it felt like to be a fish caught in net whilst struggling to free myself.

Today, I found myself in that net again. No, I was not skiing, but that little voice in my head went off, and I failed to pay attention to it. Yesterday, I was pulling out wood for the Chai-boy project, from my lumber rack (organized chaos). The mental numbers seemed to be working out, and I found myself wishing I had my plans with me. I would have to buy plain maple for the sides, and poplar for the drawer boxes, and I would have to use Birdseye maple for the drawer fronts and not Western Curly Maple. But I thought that would be okay, and later on that night I trotted merrily into the house with a smile on my face. The net had been set, and my pole was in the hole. 

Around noon today, I happily marched out to the shop with my plan book in hand and decided to get working on the top. Okie dokey, look in the book. The top needs to be 22 x 11 x 1.5. Oh Crap! The stock I had for the top was only 18” long! Now I would have to use the board for legs to use for the top. No, no, no no! I can’t do that! Rats! I would have to buy more wood for the project. Why is this a problem you might ask? Well, this is what I call a “spec” project. Hopefully, someone will buy this piece…… Hopefully. On spec projects, I try to put as little money into them as possible. Cash flow for my business is always an issue. And as far as cash is concerned, I am not “eatin’ up with it.”

 After running through multiple lumber scenarios, I had to just give up and accept my fate. This was not they way I wanted to start this project. I think I might have to start looking for a sponsor or a possible buyer sooner than later.

 Round two. What the heck, I’ll complete the new lathe stand I started making on Sunday. It looked a little tall when I was working on it, but I followed the plans, and lo and behold the thing is 10 inches  too tall! And guess what?! There is no way to shorten it! Congratulations Yaakov, you now have a new workbench with a 2 inch thick solid oak top! As Hagar the Horrible would say “*&^*%(&#!!!!”

 Round three. Okay, let’s walk outside and cool the emotional jets, and collect my thoughts. I know, I’ll go ahead and cut another bowl blank out of my last big oak log. Then I realize, there is a gaggle of children running around in our backyard having a Sukkah party. Nothing like having a stranger come out wheedling a chainsaw in front of little kids to add a little extra excitement and terror to their happy little lives! So much for that that idea. (insert Anglo-Saxon phrase here)

 One, two, three! You’re out! There is a saying, “If you want to give Hashem a good chuckle. Tell him your plans). It’s an even numbered day, and I guess Hashem is trying to tell me something, so maybe I’ll just go inside and draw a pretty picture……. Anybody seen my pencil?????


About yaakov

Husband, Abba, Furniture Maker, Turner, Bookseller, and all around working stiff.
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